You were standing a few inches in front of me with a flower at hand, smiling. I started to think what was up with you. As you were there, gripping that red flower with such excitement that I can literally see in your eyes, you whispered words to my innocent ears, expecting some delight out of the flowery words you blurted.
At first, I thought those were the sweetest phrases any woman would be so happy to hear.
Yes. They were.
But not for me.
Because after all, you just needed me to be your wing-woman to win some other girl’s heart.
The pavement has been wet for a few hours now. The rain was really hard on it as if it wanted to break the ground and burst it open. Firm as it may seem, it becomes fragile at some point. As the rain pounds, the ground wants to reinforce itself from the pressure.
Umbrellas. Boots. Raincoats.
Holdings hands, tight hugs and the never-ending kisses.
Where art thou?
Whether I want to end up being just this Or end up being that. I’m gonna travel the world with all my might Or get a glimpse of how the universe conspires. I’ll taste the rain and embrace myself under it Let it flow through my wet and lousy body. I’ll fly into the sky just like the red balloon Without something to distract the way of where it goes. I don’t care whether you’ll like this or not But I’m going to stand up and give it a shot.
Hey you. You almost got me on that first glance. Well, I think you did got me…but that was like, 5 seconds max? It’s very funny to say this but I liked you. I like that tiny glance you did because at least for me, there was one person who looked at me that way, perhaps.
I melted. But just for 5 seconds.
I smirked at that thought. Giggles came in, rushing through within me. But I thought it was fake. It was a facade. You were a charlatan. And I think I was too, just for 5 seconds.
Sometimes I picture myself reading a book, quietly, underneath a tree, on a hill. With butterflies flying all over, with the wind caressing my cheeks and on my lovely floral vintage dress. Wearing that thrift-ed DMs boots and with sky just enough to make me flush.
I can’t compose myself now as much as I can before. I used to have these random thoughts that I could make use to complete a whole paragraph, but now, it seems that I’ve been drained. My mind’s quite fed up (or empty?) from the things that I am not usually doing right now or maybe just because I’m still on the denial-adjusting stage of my life that everything seems fleeting.
Just a few hours ago, I had a rough day heading home. I really felt shitty and I don’t know why. While walking out from the store, I realized that I am alone and I kept thinking where to go. It’s not literal but I guess you get the point.
Oh well, I think I just need some more inspiration, some more encouragement, some more adventure so I could get back to my old self.
Oh, what was I again?
So I’m planning to watch One Day all by myself if I get to have my paycheck on the 5th. Another date with myself would be a bittersweet one for me since I am back in Cebu and the boyfriend’s far far away.
Oh well, I guess I’m on my weakest turning point again. Lalala. Or not.
I know it’s weird, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I hope this won’t count as cheating.
Ang OA ko lang lately. Nasa isip kasi kita palagi. Minsan nga napapanaginipan kita. Ang weird lang talaga. Parang sa dreamland lang ata tayo nabibigyan ng chance na magkita. Saklap.
Kelan ko pa kaya masasabi sa taong yun kung gano ko siya kamahal. Darating ka pa ba? Ang lamig na ng kamay ko. Kelangan na ata neto na may ka holding hands.