I have been constantly haunted by thoughts of ending my life. Maybe because I have lost hope on some things or maybe I just really feel demotivated. I have been struggling most likely with work. I know it’s lame to think such things and I am deeply sorry for being too weak. I am scared. I am really scared.
But still, I thank God because He interrupts me with realizations I thought I could never think of. He will always be there to rescue me, I just have to really put my faith in Him. It may be difficult to acknowledge my own flaws because perhaps of too much pride, I don’t know.
All I need now are prayers, a hug and a sincere affirmation from my superiors.
Forgive me, universe.
Things happen the way we don’t expect them to be. Or the other way around. It comes in different ways actually. What I’ve realized is that we can always do precautionary measures to save something, a relationship, a cat—or a valuable thing perhaps. We lose people and things around us and all we have to do to keep them is to keep them carefully—with all our heart and with all our might. But there are still things we can’t control, like sickness or accidents that we don’t know will eventually happen. It’s kind of frustrating if losing something or someone, can be skipped if we did our part, the least.
Now here goes the regretting part.
I have 6 used films (and more) that have never been processed yet. Film swaps, yes? I’ve been shooting film for the past month and I go excited whenever a film roll has been used up. BUT. I can’t process them yet because Photoline’s machine has failed and Digiprint doesn’t exist here anymore~
Kay dili man gud Friendster ang Tumblr. Fvck yov.
Kahibaw ko di ko gwapa pero labaw kang di gwapo. So ayaw ko insultoha kay wa ka kahibaw unsa akong gi huna huna about nimo. Pwede? Di magpataka’g storya kay imo nya ng lamuyon balik. Ayaw ko samoka anang imo mga english english nga pinulungan kay samot nga wa kay klaro kastorya. Nya samot ayaw ko eninglisa kay napalaw naka sa ako sa una, mas nisamot imon pagkapalaw karon. Kasabot ka?
Gisapot ko nimo kay taka ra kaayo ka. Defensive kaayo ka, obviously. Makadawat kag defeat anang imong kalaki? Sure ka? Kay klarong dili. Sige, pagmaoy pa diha!
Can you please teach your children how to have proper etiquette in front of other people? It’s not all the time people do things for you. Consider the time and effort that has been wasted. Let them realize that chances are important. Remember, first chances are only given once. “Second” chances will never be the same (on special cases, perhaps).
Also, let them know that other people also get tired and that people aren’t robots.
If I were a parent, I’d teach my child how to act with regard to their age and the level of intellect they should have. Just sayin’.
If it’s not happening, it is not happening. When will you decide to believe that it’s not true? That everything is bullshit and that you are caged to what your emotions are trying to let you feel? Why are you bothering yourself with the worst case scenarios that you are, on the other hand, enjoying?
Let it be.
On the brighter side of things, it’s a nice day for an outdoor shoot today. I wanna try Luke so he could get soaked up in the sun. Meh, I know this lil thing will do its work magnificently. Tsar.
I just wanna go out and shoot.
Ian just goofed around. She called me behind the glass window while I’m typing this down. Phone calls are surprisingly surprising.
I hope this day turns out fine.
I’ll give you an update
I just wanna sleep. Or not. I’m feeling like a zombie right now. Really. I haven’t slept properly last night. And I am basically having a hard time typing this because I am currently shaking. Ugh. Caffeine is running down my system and it’s keeping me awake for the past twenty four or so hours. I. AM. TIRED.
Lots to do within the day. I just want them to be done.
I’ll get back to you on that. I’ll give you an update. Blah.
Ay piskot. Ngano man? Sa tanan tanan makit-an, ngano man? Samoka. Haha.
Kay dili man gud ‘pet’ ang pet peeves. Taka raman ka oy.
And I’m still on my hangover mode from vacation. I can hardly sleep nowadays and still I can’t sleep properly. I’ve been kicking my ass off today from Bohol to Cebu and immediately went straight to work. Pfffft.
Hi to the new followers. I hope I don’t bore you as much as I bore myself. PFT.
Gusto. Kelangan. Mahal.
Ang dami kong gustong gawin! Ang dami dami ko ring gusto! Waaaaa. Pero kelangan ko rin silang i define as need, want and love. Nakuuuu.
1. iPod touch
2. Lomo (films, camera)
Pero ayokong gumastos. Duh.
Pagkain, Pelikula atbp.
Yes. Opening to closing ang show ko today. Pumasok ng 10am, nakauwi ng 11pm. Gutom. Sabog. Pagod. Pero ayos lang, nakabenta naman. Pag uwi ko, naisip kong matulog na lang, pero di kaya ng konsensya at ng sikmura ko kaya eto, ako ay kasalukuyang ngumunguya ng pancit canton (extra hot) with sunny-side up egg na topping, matching soda. Ayown! Sarap!
At ngayon, papaligayahin ako ni Puss. ;-)
Ba’t ba may mga taong inconsiderate? Parang tanga lang. Magpapaantay ka pero di ka naman darating? Magppromise ka pero di mo kinoconsider yung feelings nung tao? Ano ba? Gago ka lang ba talaga o sadyang…gago ka lang talaga?